You Cannot Fight the Darkness

 I read something today that turned me around. Sister Gyanamata, in one of her letters, writes that we thank our good stars far more than we ever thank our suffering — and that we have it backwards. Because it is not the good times that change us. It is the hard ones. It is only through our struggles that we transform, that we rise above our own limitations. The most important parts of our lives are the times that do not go well for us. We despise them while we are in them. And only later do we see that it was in exactly that darkness that we learned to give birth to our own light.

Here is the thing about darkness. You cannot fight it. As long as you try, it only grows stronger, because it feeds on your struggle. What takes its power away is not a bigger fight. It is light. You do not battle a dark room. You switch on a lamp.

So what is light? What does it actually translate to in a life? Let me tell you through mine.

I come from a family that rose up from the ground. My grandfather was part of a refugee family that came to Delhi from Lahore around Partition — no roots, no base, everything to be started from nothing. My father sold pens and milk when he was young. My grandfather eventually took a job as an accountant in Doordarshan. A government job. We lived in government quarters. We were a modest family.

My parents wanted my life to be better than their own, so they stretched far beyond their means and put me in a school full of children who were much better off than we were. I would reach that school by rickshaw while some of my classmates arrived in sedans. Their lunches were hand-delivered by house help. Quietly, without anyone saying a word, I was placed in the position of feeling inferior. I was bullied. I was struggling with who I even was, and how a boy like me was supposed to stand tall in such a tall world.

That was my first darkness. And I could not fight it — I could not change my house, my rickshaw, my family's bank balance. So I did the only thing I could. I changed what was inside instead.

I turned to my studies, because studies were neutral. There was no bias there. The teachers did not favour the rich boy or the poor boy — they favoured the one who knew his work. So I gave my whole attention to that. I taught myself English, because I understood English was the ladder into the world I wanted to enter. I read, because in a book there is no judgment. And there, in the one place that could not look down on me, I began to shine. Only when I stopped fighting the outside and turned inward did my circumstances slowly begin to change. Today I am thankful for every one of those situations, because they are what lifted me above my own limitations.

I thought I had learned the lesson. Then, years later, it came for me again.

I was having a good run at work when circumstances I could not control began to close in. There were forces in that workplace far stronger than me, and I could not focus on anything that needed to be done. It was in exactly those months that my son was conceived — my first taste of a responsibility larger than my own life. So I reached outward, the way we all do first. I looked for other jobs. I applied everywhere. I was ready to take a salary cut, whatever it took. And none of it worked, because the forces outside were simply stronger than me.

I fell into a real depression. The thought of walking into that office was dread. The people who used to listen to me stopped listening. The only pillars left standing were my family — my mother above all. And that was when I turned, for the first time, to spirituality. I sat my first ten-day Vipassana.

I came back from it knowing there was no point being afraid anymore. Almost immediately, the office tried to pull me into a corner I knew I could not win. And I simply said: do what you want. They did not expect it. But I said it — and it felt like the deepest relief, because I had finally let go of my grip. I came back to Delhi and began taking life one step at a time.

This is the whole of it. You do not remove darkness from a room by fighting it. You remove it by switching on the light. And when the inner sun burns bright enough, it shines away all the darkness outside.

I thank God for my suffering — for the learning it carried in its hands. And I ask only that His grace keep finding me, again and again.

Today No One Called Me. I Wasn’t Required.

Once you start building your company’s systems, you realize the universe starts responding to you.

One of the first things you need to sit with is this: Where is it that you want to be required? And where are you required right now? Are they the same place? If your answer is yes, you shouldn’t be reading this post. If your answer is no, or maybe — read on.

One of the most important parts of our lives is the life we live before and after we leave for work. The life when you don’t go in. The life where you decide to take some time for yourself and truly can. And believe me — I have seen this — that life is not a gift handed to you by God. It is something you build with your own hands.

Over the past weeks and months I’ve been learning how an entrepreneur at my scale can truly free himself from the vagaries of daily operations — turn toward strategy, toward the joy of doing business, toward loving the time I spend at work rather than resenting it. And this one simple thing brought me to a day I thought I should have been at work, and no one called me. I wasn’t required.

When does that happen? It happens when you decide that what you’re doing is not what you’re supposed to be doing — that something needs to change. And that something is the way you’re living your life, not the life itself. When you decide to change the flow of the day, the day actually changes. It’s the difference between giving your time to a problem and finally giving it your attention — between cribbing about it and doing something about it. You take the harder decisions. You fight the harder battles. That’s what it costs for where-you-are and where-you-should-be to converge into the same place.

These days the first two hours of my morning belong entirely to me. The last six hours of the day belong to me and my family. In between, if I choose to spend a little time here and there, no one calls me, because I’m not required. Because I’ve been building strong systems inside my organization — with learning, with willpower, and with the grace of my gurus — so the team is capable, the systems hold, people run on their own, and results come whether I’m there or not. I’m learning to work on the business instead of in it. And I’ve already started living that life.

The past ten-odd months have changed how I work, how I live, how I see time, and how things will unfold. And I declare it’s going to be beautiful — because it already is. I’m not waiting for something. I’ve already arrived.

And behind the “I” is the grace of the gurus and of God, choosing to flow through me as my spiritual life opens up. I’m being guided toward higher pastures, away from grazing on the lower ones. Slowly my time and attention turn toward my spiritual life, my body — and toward seeing that my social life is not me, my job is not me.

There are a lot of I’s and me’s in this entry. And yet, even as I write them, I don’t feel the need to be the same “I” — or whether there’s even as much of an “I” as there used to be. It may sound like a riddle, but it’s true. I’ve become a medium for grace and energy to flow through, and that is what’s happening in my life.

Many of you think it isn’t easy to change — that it’s hard to go against the grain of the world, hard to do anything other than be capable and able, make more money, win more acceptance. But in the end, much of that falls short of the true expectation: happiness within. So what I urge you is to rethink your life. See whether where you are is where you should be. Ask what needs to change. Sometimes the awareness alone is the job half done. Then take some time in your day to reflect on what’s real.

Lately, reflection has been my biggest superpower. It helps me focus. It helps me live the life I should have been living, because it turns me from the future or the past to the present — even as I write entries like this one through my AI, where the voice is clearly mine and the context is as pure as mine. And I’m so free while doing it that the next one never feels like a chore. It just flows.

God bless you.

Manufacture Magic

How time is not your currency — your attention is

Traditionally, we always believed we must give time. Time to our loved ones, to our work, to our health, to reading, to writing, to thinking, to meditating — to the hundred things that seem important. So we hand out our hours and feel we have given something of ourselves.

But in this life of fragmented living, time is no longer time. It has been broken up. Dissected. Misunderstood. Assumed to be something it is not.

And I am talking about your own time — the time you believe you are giving to others, to the things you love.

Time is not the currency. The currency was, is, and will remain your attention.

You have been to school — but did you give it your attention, or only your hours? You have poured years into your relationships — but did you give them your attention? You sit at work ten hours a day — but have you given those hours your attention?

Wherever you place your attention, results begin. Give attention to your learning and you will learn faster than if you had spent five times the hours. The currency is attention. Spend it wisely.

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## The problem is that attention does not stay whole

Attention exhausts quickly. And the reason is simple, so read these words slowly: **attention multiplies when it is focused, and it depletes exponentially when it is divided.**

The more focused you are, the more attention you generate. The more scattered you are, the faster it drains. This is true of almost everything.

Most of us live divided. It is like watching three series on Netflix at once, all halfway through, none finished. The mind becomes a khichdi of three unfinished stories. And that is exactly what we do to our days — we give a little time to everything, and let us be honest, nothing actually gets done.

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## The impact is that you end the day empty

Let me tell you where I see this in my own life.

I am an entrepreneur, and I keep my office door open. All day I am surrounded by my team, walking in to ask me questions — questions they could answer themselves. From morning to evening I attend to all of them, and by the end of the day I have achieved nothing of my own.

For weeks I struggled with my sales team. They had no structure to their work. I always carried the structure in my mind — but I could never execute it, because I was constantly swamped, my attention pulled across a dozen topics at once by whoever walked through that open door.

Think about it in your own life. You go for a walk in the park to relax, and you check your phone fifteen times. The walk does not relax you, because you have actively given your attention to fifteen things instead of one.

This is the cost. Fragmented attention does not only kill your time and your productivity — it kills your energy. You come home and say, *aaj kuch kaam nahi kiya, aur thak gaya.* I did nothing today, and I am exhausted. That is the signature of a scattered day.

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## The solution is to give your whole soul to one thing at a time

The day I forced my team to think for themselves, and forced myself to hold my attention on one thing at a time, things began to move.

One example: an hour and a half of focused sales calls this week moved a customer who had been stalling for weeks — from a no, toward a yes. Not ten hours. Ninety focused minutes. And the sales structure I could never execute while my door was a revolving one — that, too, only got built when I finally gave it undivided attention.

This is what I mean when I say: **if I give time and attention to one thing, I manufacture magic.**

Read that again. Manufacture magic. You do not hear those words often. And yet it is all around us in nature.

It is summer in Delhi, and everywhere the Amaltas tree is in bloom — so golden it is almost poetic. Just looking at it is art. Imagine the attention that goes into creating something so beautiful it can capture yours. The rustling of a peepal’s leaves is music. The way the sky changes colour from morning to evening — none of it could be made by fragmented attention. It is almost funny to imagine a blade of grass that is only half a blade of grass, confused, unfinished — the way most of our tasks are.

So start small. Tell yourself: for the next thirty minutes, I will do one thing only, and I will give it my whole soul. By the end of those thirty minutes, you will find that time itself has vanished.

It is the same with meditation. Depth matters more than duration. Next time you sit, ask God only that your mind be as focused as it can be — even for two minutes — and you will manufacture magic.

Why do you enjoy a movie? Because for two or three hours you give one story your undivided attention, and you do not touch your phone. If the story is well stitched, you are happy. Now imagine giving that same undivided attention to your own health. Could you sit with it — truly sit — without searching the internet, without asking everyone else? True attention, from the bottom of your heart. And your heart will answer with the solution.

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## So here is what to do

Plan your day in focused blocks, not fragmented ones. Not coworker, then phone, then email, then a WhatsApp bling, then another call, then something goes wrong — and the day is gone. Close the door when you must. Make your team think. Make yourself think. One thing, whole soul, then the next.

And there is a deeper layer to this, the one that matters most to me.

How often, when a problem comes, do we quiet down and listen to our own heart — instead of putting the problem out like a stock in the market, where everyone can trade on it? Buy it, sell it, hold it, or worse, hedge on it. The whole world is waiting to take your attention, because your attention is your energy, and they want it.

The Beloved is not asking for your time. God is always seeking what is in your heart — your love. And your love is your attention. Your care is your attention. Your joy is your attention. Your will is your attention.

The day you understand this, life begins to change.

Go ahead. Manufacture magic.

Om Guru.

Daddy Is Sad

I was playing with Urvansh.

We have always told him to express himself, to not throw tantrums, to speak out in words what he is feeling so that we know what is going on. And so sometimes when something he does not agree with happens, when he is unhappy about it, he tells me — Nanu is sad.

Nanu, not me.

And the moment he says it, I see the change in him. The cloud thins. He has named it from the outside, and in naming it from the outside he has stopped being it.

That is when I realised — the child is teaching me to be a witness to my own self.

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This thought has stayed with me on the walk. I want to write it down before I lose it.

Our feelings are clouds in the sky of our being. Sometimes they are of a different shape. Sometimes big, sometimes small, sometimes dark, sometimes white, sometimes so light you can hardly see them, sometimes so dense they cloud the sun and turn day to night. Sometimes floating away very slowly, sometimes floating away so fast. But never all the time. They are always in transition.

The mistake is to think we are the cloud.

The mistake is to internalise the weather. Because when we internalise it, we attach to it, and we suffer it as though it were the whole sky. Our default bliss state — the sun that is always shining — can never be seen unless we endeavour to move past the altitude of our cloudy sky. Only when we fly above the clouds do we see that the weather may change, but the sun always shines bright.

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How does one begin to even begin to do that?

It is relatively easier to imagine yourself as the parent to your own self. Just as you would talk to a child who is going through a mood — by distracting him, by drawing his attention towards the nicer things in life — you can do that to yourself. And when you start doing that slowly, you realise that you do hold power on your own mind, and not otherwise.

So when I am sad, I try not to say I am sad. I try to say — daddy is sad. And then I try to move daddy’s attention away. The same way the parent moves the child.

This principle can be used at work, at home, when alone, in every other situation.

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I have complained for almost all of my life till now.

That I am a victim of my circumstances, my situations, my moods, the weather, the people around me, the temperature, what I eat, who cooked it, my boss, my wife, my son, my maid, my staff, my parents, my siblings, my friends, my possessions — none of them seem to work in my favour sometimes, and that causes a lot of unhappiness within my state of being.

I learned to complain the way children learn most things — by watching. I cannot remember the first time. But I can imagine it. Someone in my family, or someone near and dear, said something they were unhappy about, and I felt them internalising the feeling. I felt them become the cloud. And I decided that was how one lived a life. Because everyone around me seemed to be doing the same thing.

It took me a very long time to suspect otherwise.

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The only way one can come about talking about something like this is if one has experienced coming out of that state — dissociating oneself from oneself. It does not matter how many times you have been able to do that. Even if you have done it once, you know how it tastes. And if you have done it once, you can do it again, and again, and again.

Some of the people reading this might never understand what I am talking about. That is alright. This is for those who at some point have watched themselves getting angry, watched themselves getting mad, watched themselves getting aggressive, and realised in that moment — they are not the ones who are doing it. It is happening to them. And in that very moment they can change it. And sometimes they do. Sometimes the witness simply arrives, and you stop, and you say to yourself — what the hell am I doing — and you change. That is the witness you need to develop to reach that stage.

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And here is the part I want to add, because most people stop at sadness and anger.

This can also happen in a happy moment. It can happen in an exciting moment. In any feeling, any mood you have ever experienced.

Swami Yogananda said it. Paramahansa Yogananda said it. Situations are always neutral. It is our reaction to them that is volatile. And Swami Kriyananda said the same thing. Life is lived in polarities — positive and negative, happiness and sadness, aggression and depression — and these polarities are the ones which cause us to always be a part of them. It is like swinging from front to back, back to front. The stronger we swing in one direction, the stronger we swing in the other.

So it is important to watch ourselves. To try and be neutral towards things. Yes, live our lives — that is important. But always realise.

My mother used to say it to me. She would say — *itna mat hass, thodi der mein roye phir.* Don’t laugh so much, my son, you will cry shortly.

For me, that sums it up.

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The cloud is not you. The cloud is not the sky.

Daddy is sad. Daddy is happy. Daddy is angry. Daddy is excited.

Daddy is moving. The sky is still.

Om Guru.

Transitioning from Grace

The young 21-year-old who last wrote this blog while he was is in his engineering college, struggling with being accepted and quested life like it would respond( and it did sometimes) Is now a kriyaban a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda, working in his family business, and moving towards a life of self realization while being successful materially.

 

A dichotomy exists, and it sometimes bogs him down. Material success and spiritual success both together? My master would agree is highly possible. He advocated it in fact.

 

 As life goes through its myriad possibilities and Maya tries always to assume control, the inner soft voice rebels and stands tall.

 

The conversations that will now follow are original verbalizations, viscerally reduced akin to jaggery, more raw than refined. 

 

And now this 38 year old man, a vyaapaari and a yogi, will talk his heart out. Guided by a fellow Kriyaban, or probably his master’s voice. 

 

Voicing out his perceptions of reality, in grace ( sometimes accompanied by a scalpel or a mace), in prose or conversationally, in reality.

 

An announcement must be made, before something is done, otherwise is goes un-niticed say some. None of that will be followed here, it’s just me being me, following a template validated by none. 

 

Om Guru

  

The Feeling of emptiness

That something essential is not present.

There is a lack of content-ness.

The mind doesn't stay at peace longer than a few moments.

Makes you feel inadequate, and incomplete. The mind wanders off quicker, uncollected your thoughts feel like a clutter. The realization is spontaneous and it's effects are continuous.

The people around you keep on reminding you that you aren't on the right path. which as it seems is the right one.

How do you relate the present state of the situation with the previously analyzed data.The mind seems to be able to analyze data faster when the contingency mode is on.

These are the symptoms of a problem bigger than expected, or acknowledged.

How do you disclose it others who may or may not understand. it shouldn't work this way. you should be able to handle it all on your own.

so let me jump down to this conclusion. i think i should start staying away a little bit.

the problem exists in the processing and reactions of my brain. i just know two situations, either extremely analytic, or extremely nice/caring. i have no other mode. and the transition between the two leads to an area of vulnerability. who would've reacted in which ways is totally a subject to market condition. how other people process information in their heads cannot be known. dealing with people is the only thing that matters to the existence.

okay. so .. stop analyzing it any further. you now need to focus on the study part so that you can achieve the goals that you intend to with minimum hassle. ]

if you realize that these goals are of much high importance than your petty states of mind. you will know that prioritizing is important. it takes you places. not your stupid little chumming.

Inspiration

there comes a motivating-poking force that hits your every now and then.. i do not mind this unwelcome guest but fail to recognise its potentially harmful after-effects..

I, usually don't understand the simple concept of good or bad, as they say, it's all relative(hail Einstein). So when things happens around me which require the keen eye of judgement , i am left awestruck . I do not know what my immediate reaction should be and mostly or not i tend to sway away from my honest thought process to end up think like most other people i.e. Righteously .

So yes, since i was in the midst of a conversation with myself over the past 10 odd minutes , i realize that inspiration is more of a self driven process than it is a external factor, and since i know that this isn't anywhere close to the 'Theory of relativity' in question , but it is somewhere close to my present state of mind.

There can be multiple instances in life which might make you thinking for a little longer than usual, which indirectly means that they have left an impact. Moments like these are the ones which, in the first place, make the inspiration happen. Most of us are usually looking for a source of guidance when 'this' stage happens , because we can't actually control the situation because of its rare occurence. I, no different than a lot of others, tend to think the same way, start evaluating the situattion left, right & centre , start looking for solutions that were never needed earlier, that very moment. But more often than not , i end up forgeting these insipartion over a specified course of 48 hours, but when it holds, it actually does hold good for longer.

INspiration makes feel good about yourself, and more of an intelligent and consious being.

Hold on to it, you never know where it might take you.

its' been long

that i haven't posted.. not that i've stopped writing.. but i seem to have become wiser..
and now know that your wisdom applies mostly to you.. so keep to yourself and keep others deprived... and enjoy their helplessness..
that's a sadistic me...
not to mention that i am a certain kind of sadist.... a fluctuating one ...

sadism is bless.... but extreme sadism.. is wat we call evil :D :D

anyway, since this is not what i actually wanted to say... lemme tell you that life is a roller-coaster right now.. and its certainly not "fun" ... not to mention it's not always like that....

i recently read this as a friends status.. so i'll say it :"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"

Sweet Nothing

There are some days that happen to fly

the simple emotions that aren't that dry

Not unnoticed do they make u feel

oh wat if all of this was reel

lie in the realms of these

u cannot help but catch the disease

they leave as all of this were real

not much of truth do they reveal

great are the moments, that they exist

for it is they whom we fail to resist

Emotional high

That is all we crave for , the provider is the society and so is it the emotional low warehouse. We talk about things , we say we do or think , or show the society how its done . The ones who triumph practically , and the ones who succeed virtually get the high , the feeling of which gives pleasure of the highest notch . And lead up to the state which we sometimes refer to as happiness . The other one of course is the Satan . It makes either geniuses out of us or leaves up in a state of grand denial . Denial of our abilities , the denial of our hopes and dreams , and finally in the most severe cases the denial of one's own self . When one enters the denial one , we put our guard up , increasing it gradually until the moment we start to break down . This causes immense suffering and pain to most of us  .

Someone once said , our hardships make us stronger . And so it does , not to forget perseverance is the key . There can and are various ways other than the help of the society which provide up with emotional highs . The fulfillment of goals , the attainment of skills , the presence of our loved ones , the love we gain from animals and nature , or even solitude .

It is not under the presence of the real high that we seek the aid of stimulants . 

PS: i don't know why i wrote this.. but i did...

 

All you require is < 100%

We live in a society where everyone wants to belong to the category " Perfectionist". But when has anyone actually seen perfection ?

 In fact , how would you define a perfectionist. For all i know , perfectionists are people who just do things a notch better than everyone else does them. You can never do a task to its 100% . A phenomenon we have been experiencing since the day we came to our senses . There is always a new, better,  person who does it in a "better" way. But that doesn't mean he/she's the perfectionist.

There will someday be a better do-er than the previous one. The society just wants us to know that there are goals set high & standards scarcely achieved.Being a perfectionist is to be someone who thinks he/she can do the stint to their level best , not "the" best.

So to call yourself one , you need to create standards for what you think you can, but with much effort, achieve. The world loves you when it thinks that you're someone different, cause adaptation is what we do best. Environment, society, feelings, relationships , problems, we adapt to them all. The ones who don't , either set examples or are never even considered extant. 

Its all about going with the flock or going against the tide. Help yourself. 

it's funny

that we always crib about the exams.. we always wish they never existed ... and the world would be just a notch greedier when it came to distributing the so-called 'tension' to everyone.. 

Now lets just imagine how all of this would've come into existence ... 

Once upon a time , in our native paathshala(s), the teachers would have been teaching the students all about life, how things work , how did it all come into existence and the works . Then came a day which would mark the end of this teaching-learning scenario ... and the teachers were all happy that they played their part , so were the students , but the society wasn't sure if we should call the student an educated chap or just another bloke with creepy thoughts. Things would've gone bizarre had 'evaluation' not come into existence.. just imagine people passing out of institutions with no certification that they actually have learnt the nuances of being an erudite .

making myselves very the clears that i am feelings very very educates.. 

a lot being heard and said about the education system in India, criticism from everywhere, its all crap for all i think.. we shouldn't forget that this is the system cos of which we got tagged as the 'brainy lot'.. and not to forget the oodles of fame that it got along.. 

so gear up and get to study..!!

Weapon or Discharge?

Language seems to be the best thing to have ever happen to mankind.

They say .. if u communicate what u feel, you feel better and maybe language was designed squarely for this purpose .

Communiation is not a means of interaction , it is precisely a vent , to let out we think. The thoughts that keep coming up every now and then in our heads are too much to keep inside.

The desire to communicate didn't arise due to the need of 'getting things done', it materialized so that we could get it out of our system & feel better. To feel better  , one has to have a clear conscience , free of all guilts , of all unfulfilled desires & even the thoughts that tend to linger even when they shouldn't.

Even the greatest of people always made it a point to get things ouf their head . How have we never come across a great person who never communicates.. keeps it all inside . Maybe this is what keeps em on the top.. the way that use their words makes them meritorius , in the limelight and on top of everyone's thoughts. The more they make us think about them , the more we love or hate them , this is wat makes them great.

The point is that Language seemed to be the barrier.. but its actually not that at all.. its an orifice ,a pipe, that lets the words or thoughts inside.. out. The fact is .. we can't take it, if we dont communicate.

Change

it'as just one of those days wen you feel.. that u're not the same person you were yesterday, the inner conscience feels alienated and you want to be someone else or i rather say .. a person with new qualities.. new traits, with a refinement in your present caliber.

not sounding too philosophical... but the path you followed just gave you an illusion of progress .

suddenly you're not just discontent with your self but the world around, its jaggedness , its crookedness.. u need .. u need to change.

its not about performing more than you presently can... but to ad lib your character wen you realize that the throne that you sit upon generates more power you would ever had delivered.

you can be stronger than you presently are, see the world from a bird's eye view.. a better perspective and a clear mindset.

in this age when "the" computer has replaced simple daily chores and habits .. and the blindfolded following of the crave for social presence drives you away.. they say "to make your presence felt just be yourself .."
but does that originality and novelty still exist??
i.. not being the first who ever asked this question, believe that acts such as the ones mentioned above are frowned up on, and stared to death eventually.

never mind this..... but yourself or whom-so-ever-self .. there are just two ways to vanish from someone Else's rear view mirror and.... the one you choose.. makes you the true you...


so change is nothing but a transition.. a phase that u go through.. u might call it a recovery from a flu.. but the healthier you is the better you... fact remains and will.. the only thing constant is change.

so.. another october

its that time of the year when most of the final year students.. do as much as they can.. to score as much possible.. to make things as much better as possible...

me ,not being very different from the others, too am "trying" to do wat i can while i still can...

as its a general tendency of ppl to follow the herd.. and follow the artery that takes em more easily(or not so easily... OKAY.. i kinda exaggerated) towards success(read:money and fame), mine is not so different either... the "papers" that ,if cleared, take u to magnificence... are just around the corner.. phew.. i can't even imagine wat the outcome will be .. 

but if i say i'm totally chilled out.. hypocrisy would be a part 'me'...

anyways... as i always say... life is sad.. the only difference lies in the way u infer things...

on the brighter side.. the rocktober feshht(.. hiccup...)... is also knocking on the..(..hiccup) door(...hiccup).. my \m/\m/ up to the present indian rock scene.

yesh-ter-day was the DUS-chehRA.. day.. hope u all enjoyed the holy fiery.. i salute your lameness once again...

another +ve facet might be the fact that there only 8 working days(read: days i'm supposed to go to college) in this month.. but the thought is no more a cause of stimulus..

revlimit.. is up and running.. another reason to exhilerate..

oh.. wait.. has the above text all been about me and my sad life... wtf... it is supposed to be that way .. it's my f**in blog..(i know tthe addition of this sentence doesn't make sense.. but who wants to make sense anyway.. as i said i'm an aficionado of circumcolution)

diwali,if i missed out, is a day for all the enivormentalists to rejoice.. cause they'll have another matter of concern to talk about and bug innocent, pollution friendly people... 

a loud and clear suggestion to all u guys who just love the firecrackers .. _|_

i read this someplace.. so i won't say this is mine .. but 

i  used to confused

now i'm not sure...

so.. enjoy the festive season... merry/lotsa/happy (non-chalant) GREETINGS !!

Fake it!

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way


Good god your coming up with reasons
Good god your dragging it out
Good god its the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped
So follow me down

And just fake it if your out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong
Fake it if you feel lack of action
your such a fucking hypocrite

And you should know that the lies wont hide your flaws
No sense in hiding all of yours
You gave up on your dreams along the way

Good god your coming up with reasons
Good god your dragging it out
Good god its the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped
So follow me down

And just fake it if your out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong
Fake it if you feel lack of action
you'r such a fucking hypocrite



I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake with the best of them all
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake it all

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way
Yeah

Good god your coming up with reasons
Good god your dragging it out
Good god its the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped
Man follow me down

And just fake it if your out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong
Fake it if you feel lack of action
you'rr such a fucking hypocrite

Fake it if your out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong
Fake it if you feel lack of action
you're such a fucking hypocrite


hail the SHAUN MORGAN!! for say..eth the truth...

new new new...

and there it goes again...
the beginning of the sad ending part the everyone loves to hate....
having seen two enormous titles.... i know wat it feels like to have seen a calamity.. well almost..
the stage was all set.. there was this guy.. he could bend bullets.. and then there was Angelina Jolie who could bend bullets.. and then there was Morgan freeman who could read the text written on cloth threads....
i have said it all.. its nothing else but the phenomenal casting of WANTED... since i've suffered the consequences .. i'd surely want you to have a taste of it too.. do WATCH THE MOVIE... u will..
and wen i mean will.. i M E A N.... W.. I.. L.. L !! love the title....

and i don't want to say more... but there are days wen negative forces and an aura of negative enegy surrouds you.. forcing you to do things that'll make your day worse...

i didn't even recover formn the shock and the force urged my hands to click!! click!! on the title.... singh is king.. mind me ... he certainly is.... awesome awesome awesome...


die.... :|

Don't A-a-RG-u-U

just another boring day , another exalt worthy duration of my sleep, the sun as bright as ever... hopped on my ride... disbelievingly early this time , as i rode through the gridlocked traffic i never stopped thinking 'Wat made me get up so early and leave for the so called first day at college?'.. it'as axiomatic that i lost track of my thought with 2PAC screaming into my ears with his "California love"...

anyways... i was buoyant about the fact that i will be able to show my prowess in the field of seniority at college and wanted more or less the same share of initial college days' fun as everyone . The cupidity no wonder lasted a little less longer than i thought it would, there i was at the college gate standing behind something u might refer as to a line, okay .. not a line...but a clutter of hoi polloi in their jeans and shirts and Wat not...

yea.. so this dubiousness overcame my light hearted mood... and i began to ask people around wat was happening and why 'the' mess.. and then this guy told me that there is something wrong with the authorities and they aren't letting people IN.. and then i heard the security guard guy say.. "aap uniform mai nahin hain.. aap andar nahin jaa sakte" and TOTALLY understood who is the author o this riddle, it'as the new advisor of the college, the one who is apparently INcharge of every thin that happens in and around the campus.

i told people in front of me to step aside and let me go in.. and then came the guard again whom i now was in sight of.. as i was totally confident with the clothing of mine i told to him to move it... and so he did.. i was just roughly at a distance of 1/2 odd metres past him wen i came across what seemed like a jury.. all waiting to take my case , like i was a newly entering criminal at the pseudo-Tihar.. and the jailers waiting for someone like me to enter , ready to pounce .

"where u are going?" asked the advisor.. "to the class sir " i said in a placid tone, " u are not in uniform !" he said... " i sure am sir" i said self-assured ..
"yeh pant kaali nahin hai.. tum bahut over smart samajhte ho apne aap ko.. DON'T A-argu-U!!!" ..
'but sir this is a black pair of jeans which has slightly faded' ....
"U know u are being wrong and then also u A-argu-U! u not know the rules and then u A-argu-U" ..
"but sir..."
"DON'T AARGUUUU!"

and within a flash of a second.. i hit the electric start as it'as meant for occasions like this.. revved up the engine like it should have.. turned and disappeared...

The thought that still boggles me.. is if we have mentors like this all around us... we would anyways end up A-argu-Uing than not...

and as the famous journalist of the page three of HT city says..

such is life dearies..

Duality is a part of the instinct,
lies don't need a reason,
the rage inside the innocent soul ,
doesn't need a messenger

i'm hollow inside my naked self,
feel the emptyness tearin me apart,
u can't help urself out,
of the stinkin sinkin world

Ugly faces all around u ,
and u wanna be one of them,
nobody needs the tru u,
and u wanna be the one,
the one they want u to

Killer "Bikers"

Coming across this word pretty often while reading the dailies or the weeklies , and just the other day my mom was talking to me saying "did u see the news yesterday, the city has gone crazy as Bikers are creating a major havoc"

It made me ponder for a lil while, but then i thought its not like the whole community of bike riders should be referred to as 'bikers'

and while switching some channels on the idiot box, i came across this term rather tooo often,and since the term is one with which i associate myself and a few of my groupies i had to come up with a solution,

i said 'listen mom not everyone who rides a bike is referred as a biker.. if such a relation is so easily created then i would have been a Cricketer , a Musician , a Writer, a Researcher, a Politician, an Engineer(:P), a Doctor , a Cook , a Comedian, a Mechanic, a Plumber , an Electrician , a Philosopher, a Ruler, a Slave, a Scientist, a master.... a Master Of all Trades.. and one deadly sin that i commit.. will take down the whole Lot'

and as usual.. my mom said that its just the way u see things.. another disagreement... another ephermal feeling of subjugation...

i had to explain its not about riding bikes.. it s about passion that makes u merge urself with the machine.. just like moving a hand.. u have it done with all the confidence.. maneuver it as much simplicity as u can... just like the thing was meant to happen with the clarity it does..

but to no amaze.. she left the room.. with complete disregard....

*hail the parents.. they just know wen to shut u up*